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Great idea and great thread Roger, this should be permanently placed in the information thread.
Here in the Midwest, there is a different definition for sex stone, just a f**king rock!
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Excellent thread Roger. I got a real chuckle. I will have to think on this more, hope to add a few.
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Helpful Glossary for Newbies!
It was Jesse's mention of "wok" (hadn't heard that one before) which prompted me to think that a glossary of terms and abbreviations might be helpful for newbies. This is what I came up with. Any more suggestions? (I have gently ribbed a couple of members... but don't make it personal... please):
ARTIFACT GLOSSARY
AFR: a less polite phrasing for JAR (q.v.)
Authentificated: the process by which an unspecified person from a museum with no relevant qualifications or experience has commented that a rock bears some resemblance to artifacts that he has seen somewhere or other (see Self-Authentificated).
Blood-Staining: any indeterminate brown or reddish colouration found on a sharp artifact which confirms its use in sacrificial ceremonies, or - in the case of an arrowhead – that it was used to kill someone. If found anywhere in Montana, it would have likely seen use at the Battle of Little Big Horn.
BIFRNIMH (But-It-Fits-Really-Nicely-In-My-Hand): just a rock (see JAR and Leaverite)
Coffee Can: a rich source of Mexican Grandfathers (q.v.), normally residing in a barn or outhouse.
Clay Tablets: any pottery or clay items bearing mumbo-jumbo inscriptions created with a “dremel” or other modern tool. The term may be stretched to include sandstone if it looks even remotely like clay.
DMP (Deleted-My-Profile): the inarticulate response to suggestions that a posted item is modern or fake, but not ancient (see IDWTAB).
Dubitage: bits of broken rock wrongly claimed as flakes from the working of an artifact (debitage).
Effergee: any unusually shaped natural stone that has a passing resemblance to a buffalo or any part thereof, or a bear, duck, the Virgin Mary, Elvis etc.
F-word: a reference to an effergee (q.v.)
Faloot: any oriented basal knapping feature on a blade or point which would cause it to be wrongly claimed as Clovis culture (in your dreams).
Found: an acceptable alternative expression for “bought”, used when referring to items acquired on eBay.
Frossil: might be a rock, might be a fossil, might be lump of buffalo dung. Who knows? Why did you even pick it up?
Geofacts.com: the unofficial alternative name for the forum.
IDWTAB (I-Don’t-Want-To-Argue-But): I do want to argue. You so-called experts on the forum don’t know what you are talking about. This is definitely an artifact. My brother said so. I have deleted my profile (see DMP).
JAR (Just-A-Rock): see Leaverite.
Leaverite: as in “leave ‘er right there” (see JAR)
Mailbox Find: an item purchased on eBay or from a web-dealer.
Mexican Grandfather: a poorly-made modern tourist-trade arrowhead from Mexico, purchased by someone’s grandfather in the 1960’s but claimed to have been found on the family farm much longer ago than that.
Mocassin Last: a rock reminiscent of the anatomy of someone with pathologically deformed feet.
NPS (Not-Planning-to-Sell): as in “I’m not planning to sell this but I just wondered how much it might be worth”. You can expect to see this on eBay next week. It would be really cool if someone here could go into print and say it’s genuine and worth a couple of hundred (see One-Poster).
One-Poster: someone who visits the forum for a valuation on a dubious item acquired on eBay that they hope to re-sell to an unsuspecting buyer for substantially more than they paid (see NPS).
Pamefact: a natural rock of eye-catching shape and extreme beauty.
Poopered: the certification of an artifact by someone not suitably qualified to do so. As distinct from “papered”.
Scrapper: any sharp-edged piece of rock, however formed and whatever age. As distinct from a “scraper”, which is a man-made artifact used for… well, scraping.
Self-Authentificated: the procedure whereby artifacts can be indisputably confirmed based on visual comparison to unattributed pictures posted on the internet.
Sex-Stone: a funky-shaped geofact. Not necessarily shaped like a phallus. But it helps.
Squinch: a confirmatory optical test used to distinguish geofacts from effigies. Butch is the recognised forum expert in these matters.
TDTYK (They Did That You Know): any undocumented reference to an unrealistic practice adopted by native American tribes claimed as supporting evidence that an item is not a geofact.
Viking Triangle: any vaguely triangular rock or hole in a rock found sufficiently far inland that it causes us to radically rethink the conventionally held views on Viking exploration of America.
Wok: a fist-sized stone with no evidence of working, claimed to be an artifact. Woks were thrown at wabbits from ancient times onwards.
- In the comming weeks we will be doing some much needed server maintenance. The site may become inaccessable for a day or two during this process. Please be patient as we work to make the forum experience better for all of you.
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